Loving Kindness Meditation: Cultivating Compassion
Picture by Christina of a pink flower on the sidewalk
Every day, God’s multifaceted characteristics are being expressed in the diversity all around me—in people who are Black, White, and Brown, liberal, moderate, and conservative, Christian, Muslim, and Humanist, wealthy and living on the streets, young and dying.
Every single person is revealing God to me in some way.
Yes—I can happily embrace this concept! I want to embrace this concept. Until I have to see God in those I perceive as evil or corrupt, inflicting suffering on those I care about or on the underdogs of society. I often have compassion for the vulnerable, but not the oppressor.
But we are all in this human experience together—sharing in different versions of the same joy and suffering, and moving towards the same loving end in God.
And we are all in need of compassion.
One way I have been able to grow in compassion is practicing loving-kindness meditations from the Buddhist tradition. In loving-kindness meditations, you begin by receiving love for yourself and then move out in concentric circles until you can love the whole universe. You stoke the little spark of compassion you have, until you and all beings are set ablaze.
How different racial tensions, police brutality, politics, disharmony in families, and our global health pandemic would be if we all committed to a practice of loving-kindness. If we viewed each interaction as another way to experience God reaching out to us in human form.
Let’s begin this necessary change, starting within ourselves. The following is a loving-kindness meditation written and adapted for Ordinary Liturgy. Cultivating compassion takes time and comes to fruition throughout our lives, so I encourage you to try this meditation and make it a regular and ongoing spiritual practice.
Getting Started:
Set aside about ten minutes to complete the meditation.
Plan on the same time (and place if possible) every day so your practice becomes routine.
You can read or listen to it.
Focus on your breathing as the people you are blessing become difficult for you.
You can adapt the meditation (like changing the blessings you say) in any way that best serves you and the greatest good of others.
Begin paying attention to how this practice shifts your consciousness and changes your interactions in the days ahead.
Celebrate the fruits of your labor and let your pride and joy motivate you to keep going.
Loving Kindness Meditation:
Begin in a comfortable seated position. Close your eyes. Take a slow inhale, and even longer exhale. Relax all the muscles in your body beginning in your head and face, moving down to the arches of your feet.
Receive loving-kindness for yourself.
Think of someone you know who loves you unconditionally. This could be a family member, friend, partner, mentor, or spiritual guide. It could be someone living or dead, from childhood or adulthood. If it is difficult to identify someone, you can think of a beloved pet.
Imagine this person (or animal) next to you, sending you their love and wishing you every good thing—happiness, safety, and freedom from suffering. Internalize their love, warmth, and peace. Feel it fill up your heart and body.
Then imagine another person (or animal) who loves you immensely. Imagine them at your opposite side. They are also sending you well wishes, and love is permeating from their being. Receive all the love they are offering.
Then imagine being surrounded by everyone who has loved you throughout your life—family and friends, coworkers, and teachers, past and present. Collectively, they are covering you in their love, each desiring your happiness and thriving.
Soak in their love, absorbing it into every molecule of your being.
Send loving-kindness to loved ones.
Now turn your attention to the person (or animal) at your side. This person (or animal) also desires to be happy, healthy, and free from suffering. They also need warmth and love. Return the love they are giving you, by slowly repeating this phrase:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free of all suffering.
Then turn your attention to the person (or animal) at your other side. They also desire a full and fulfilling life. Just like you, they need love to thrive. Return the love they are giving you by saying thoughtfully:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free of all suffering.
Then identify someone else who loves you, who is present in your crowd of supporters. This person is just like you, they also desire happiness and love. Return their warmth and well wishes by saying from your heart:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free of all suffering.
Send loving-kindness to those you feel neutral towards.
Now think of someone you feel neutral towards. This could be an acquaintance, a barista, or a classmate—someone you see regularly but don’t really know. You both share the same desire for a happy, fulfilling life. Send them loving-kindness, drawing from the warmth inside of you:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free of all suffering.
Send loving-kindness to those who are difficult to love.
Bring to mind someone who is difficult for you to love. It may be a family member, politician, or employer. It could be someone who is intolerant of others. Or it may be difficult for you to love someone who is different than you racially, politically, or spiritually.
Despite your differences, this person desires the same things as you—to live a happy life, and be free of suffering. Just like you, they need love, warmth, and connection. Send this person a loving blessing, let it flow freely without restraint:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free of all suffering.
Send loving-kindness to all who are suffering.
Bring to mind all the people you know who are suffering:
A friend or family member. Black, Indigenous, People of Color. Those afflicted by their own racist ideology. Members of the queer community. Refugees and immigrants. People who are homeless or caught in addiction. All those who are sick or dying from COVID, and their loved ones. Essential workers during the pandemic.
(If someone suggested is difficult for you to love, consider going back to include them in the previous step, or name them next time you practice your meditation.)
These people are the same as you—they desire safety and health, happiness and freedom from all that ails them. Send those who are suffering all the happiness and love you have received by saying:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free of all suffering.
Send loving-kindness to all beings.
In your mind’s eye, zoom out, and picture the whole world extending to the universe. Send love to all beings known and unknown. Let your love and warmth saturate the universe and cover the whole globe, encasing it in healing:
May you be happy.
May you be healthy.
May you be safe.
May you be free of all suffering.
Take a deep breath and become aware of your physical surroundings. Wiggle your fingers and toes, stretch any muscles that feel stiff. When you are ready, open your eyes. Take all the loving-kindness you have cultivated with you into your day, and continue to share it with others.
Going Forward:
Now that you know this Loving Kindness Meditation, you can practice it in passing. If you see someone in need of kindness—at the grocery store, on the side of the road, in your family—send them a blessing. Or if someone comes to mind as you go about your day, do the same. While taking intentional time to meditate is important, it is just as important to be present to the needs of any given moment and respond accordingly. This is a way to practice presence and then live into it throughout your day.