The Chaplain’s Visit
*Picture by Christina of my parents’ kitchen in San Diego, CA
I have been here once before. When I was younger, I broke my ankle—but I never imagined I would break two at the same time. I have been lying in this bed since Sunday, three whole days. I can’t sleep through the night because the nurses keep waking me up to take medicine and check my vitals. During the day I have so much time that my mind ruminates on all my stress and anxieties. I think about the work I should be doing to keep up with my job. I think about how my husband just got laid off and my injury is adding to his worries, and strain to our marriage. I feel like a burden and inconvenience. But worse, is the pain. Every time I move I writhe, I have never felt anything like this and I am terrified.
But this afternoon someone came in my room that I wasn’t expecting. They said they were a Chaplain from the Spiritual Care Department, offering emotional and spiritual support to patients. I didn’t fully understand what a Chaplain is (I’m so used to being poked and prodded) but I said yes, they could come sit next to me. The Chaplain was calm and had kind eyes. Just in sitting with me, I felt a sense of peace. I could tell I was in the presence of something greater than myself. And the room seemed to have a little more light.
The Chaplain asked me questions and listened. I shared so many things, thoughts and feelings I didn’t even realize I was holding inside of me. I told the Chaplain things I haven’t even told those closest to me in my family. My fears were finally able to be released, just by being spoken. The Chaplain collected them all for me, holding them in a safe container.
Then the Chaplain offered to pray with me. I don’t often pray, but I agreed. The Chaplain put their hand on my arm and spoke tenderly. I could feel the compassion in their words. In that moment, I felt comforted. In that moment, I could rest.
When the Chaplain left, I felt like a burden had been lifted. I knew I wasn’t alone—God had been with me. I am still on a slow path to recovery, but in the time that has followed the Chaplain’s visit, I’ve had a real sense of God still being here, like the light never left.